When Happiness Makes You Cry

          Last night, I found myself crying for no reason. Sometimes I just can't explain the deep sadness that begins in the chest and continues to spread until exiting the body through tears. Sometimes, I think I am the only one to know this pain. To know what it's like for a cloud to seemingly cover the sun even for a mere moment making everything lifeless. It just as easily disappears and with it the pain fade, the tears roll to a stop.

         Okay, to be honest, there was sort of a reason behind the tear. Happy remembering was the cause. Remembering such happy memories that I wish I could relive them. Then I remember all they can ever be is just that - memories. There I was crying and not tears of joy, tears of sadness because of a happy moment that has forever been lost. I do not cry because my life is miserable and I don't think thing will get better, I cry because it's different and everything has changed. 

         Change is also the reason I smile; it is the reason that I laugh and enjoy some of the best days I could ever imagine. I have realized we have to have bad days in order to have good ones. The bad days make us realize how great we really have things. The bad days make us happy when wonderful days return. We compare all the days we have to our worst and lowest day in order to see that change is a good thing. 

         Yes, I still yearn for things of the past. I long for things that I can never have again. I have an intense desire for times that almost seem as if they happened once upon a time. I wonder what it would be like if people didn't die or move on and if nothing ever changed, but then I realize that such a world could never be. One of my favorite songs conveys this in an beautiful and tender way:

Every so often we long to steal,

to the land of what might have been,

but that doesn't soften the ache we feel

when reality sets back in.

         It may hurt, but we need change and we also need to realize that sometimes it is happiness that makes us cry.

A Letter From the Future

High School Graduation time has rolled around again, and as I prepare to go graduation party hopping I just wanted to jump back to my graduation (after all, it was just last year).

If you know me and have had the honor (if you want to call it that) of hearing me give a speech, then you know that I am not the best public speaker. I have been told I do not speak loud enough or that I do not speak slow enough, but I do try. So here are the words of wisdom I bestowed upon Nevada High School's Class of 2014.

Superintendent Dr. David Stephens, Assistant Superintendent Dr. Tyson Beshore, Principal Mr. Whalen, Vice Principal Mr. Stewart, Distinguished Members of the School Board, Honorable Teachers and Counselors, Beloved Parents and Friends, Ladies and Gentlemen, Fellow Graduates:

I couldn't find the right words to say today, but then I stumbled across this - a time capsule. From the Future, Postmarked 2024.

Greeting Earthlings! Do not worry, you have not turned into an alien. Although I hope my invention has turned into a time capsule, ultimately helping this letter find its way to you. I know this is going to sound crazy - but I'm writing this to you from the future.  Ten years in the future actually.  Where I come from you are preparing for your ten year class reunion. If my calculations are correct you are reading this on your graduation day, Sunday May 25th, 2014.

I congratulate you. Today is your day! You have endured through countless hours, countable days, and very countable years, 13 in fact, to reach this day. You have received much help and I believe several thank yous are in order. First, you need to thank your parents. Without them, you literally, would not be here. Your parents, and other parental figures, started you out on this incredible, educational quest. Second, thank your teachers. Your preschool teachers taught you the alphabet and numbers, more so you were taught how to socialize with one another, in time leading to your friendships. Your elementary and middle school teachers managed all of your rambunctious actions and taught you new facts daily, without the comfort of jeans, I might add. Your high school teachers guided and prepared you for change. From the ABC’s all the way through Rapid Reviews, your teachers have been with you every step of the way. These people have helped you in ways that deserves a magnitude of thank yous, but today is not their day. Today is your day, so, finally, thank the Class of 2014. You would not be who you are today if it was not for your fellow classmates. Some of them have stood by your side, offering friendship, encouragement, and motivation. Others, have forced you to gain strength and perseverance. These skills, memories, and experiences are things that will create a successful future. Today is the day for celebration, so seize it as it is yours.

As a senior you are already old before your time. You spend your day worrying about college, a job, or marriage and a family. These things are important, do not get me wrong, but they are not everything. Live in the moment before the moment passes you by. I challenge you to invest time to stop and smell the roses. Grades may get you scholarships, make your parents proud or enable you to go on “lunch out” but they do not define intelligence. You may not always get the grades you wish for or the job you most desire, and you might panic, but you will make it through and triumphantly come out of the experience with a smile on your face. College, a job, a family; these things will come in there own good time and they will all fall into place seamlessly. Meanwhile, go and assemble your own definition of brilliance.

Soon you will no longer be a senior, but a fresh out of high school graduate. Now is the time to find, for yourself, what is important. Is it the new iPhone? Is it the many pairs of shoes you own or all your colorful leggings?  Is it instagram and all the selfies? {man, I wish I had taken a selfie] Is it your high tech fishing pole or hunting gun? You may think these things make up your whole life, but you will miss other opportunities while trying to follow these “interests.”  Now is the time to make friendships that last. These kinds of friendships are rarer to discover as the years go by. No longer will you spend your days within the walls of Nevada High School. No longer will chicken patty be your lunch on Wednesdays. No longer are you a high school senior. This is when the adventure starts.

Your adventure is full of adjustment and development. At first, all the changing and growth may seem bizarre, but before you know, it will have become the norm. I want to tell you that you are victorious in accomplishing your goals. How do I know this? Well, I saw you complete and reach the goals you set. You are strong, brave, and determined. Keep living and laughing, Class of 2014. Your future looks bright.

P.S.

You are going to be SO proud of yourself.

Facing Reality

Today, I am taking a personal day.

     During my time at college,  I have never skipped a class for any reason unrelated to swimming. I am a 4.0 student and know that attending class is very important for ones grades. Maybe it was because my 8 A.M. was cancelled and therefore felt as if it meant Monday was cancelled (oh how I wish that we could cancel Mondays sometimes) or the fact that I cried myself to sleep or that today I just did not want to face reality.

     I am normally strong. I accept that part of life is dying, heck without it we could not live and it is simply reality. Today, I do not wish to face reality because sometime reality is unbearable. Reality is the fact that five years ago to this date my father passed away. Reality is that sometimes I have a hard time remembering my father's voice and wish I could simply call him to hear his voice one more time. Reality is that I long to be wrapped up in one of his hugs and although others offer hugs sometimes all I want is just one of his. Reality is that I have to be strong, even when I think it isn't fair or when people try to understand but never could or when I just want to lose it.

     Today I decided I would let myself lose it. I am letting myself wallowing in self-pity. Tears have come and gone; who knows if they make a person feel better, I needed to let it all out.

     For tomorrow I am willing to face reality. I am willing to continue continuing, if that makes any sense, but I will strive for more. I will strive for a genuine happiness - a type of happiness that brings joy to others. I will strive for experience so that I may continue to live and gain wisdom while living life ti the fullest. I will strive to be an inspiration to all those around me just as my dad was an inspiration to me. I am willing and I will be prepared because . . .

Today, I took a personal day.

Cold Water Challenge Grace Style

     Starting out as a 24 Hour Challenge the Cold Water Challenge has gone viral. From fun and games to charity support to whole organizations; with many variations and additions this challenge is on a new level.

     Here is the one that has hit my hometown works: Someone challenges another person to jump in a river or creek or bathtub full of ice. Those who accept the challenge pay $20 to the charity of their choice. Those who don’t accept pay $100 to the charity of their challenger’s choice.

     The following link is an article covering this challenge in a nearby town. http://www.ky3.com/news/local/24-hour-cold-water-challenge-dives-into-marshfield/21048998_25294316

     Many of all ages have taken the plunge and it wasn't long before I was challenged. It's for a great cause so today I completed the 24 Hour Cold Water Challenge (with time to spare!)

My Club Team's Pool

 

 

Preparing to Embark

 



     As you can see from the pictures, I really added my own twist. Some might say that a pool isn't cold enough and I kind of would have to agree. The thing is whole else that did this challenge spent an hour driving to location, then an hour and a half in the water of a pool feed by a hose (although not freezing today), and after yet an hour drive home? Go the extra mile, right? (I did take a cold shower after since I deviated from the actually challenge so much. It was freezing, but as in a locker room I couldn't get any footage. The younger swimmers thought it was hilarious and tried it too!)

     The organization I am donating to is Amor Ministries and I challenge you, my reader. I know that monetary means are not always readily available so I challenge you to give your time. No money can buy a 25 hour day so the gift of time is very valuable. Or you can give a donation of words, encouragement can bring someone up and is a very strong tool. Or you can give as much as your heart leads. In one form or another pay it forward.

     I say, "Challenge you" because as an competitive person this motivates me, but I also want to "Inspire you!"

 

 

Acts 20:35

Broken Art

Broken things can be turned in to lovely works of art.

 

 

As seen below a cracked bowl was fixed into a piece of art.

You may still be able to see its cracks, but this bowl is once again functional and now defined by gold.

  



Or

 

 

Art can be made by 

taking something broken and creating it into a new, beautiful design.

 

 



With time, love, and dedication brokenness can become beautiful once again.

One will still be able to tell it was once damaged, but that is not all to be seen.

The elegancy of what it once was and the charm of what it is now

can be found when something destroyed is created into a different and unique thing.



Exactly four years ago my world was shattered.

My hero, my role model, my dad

went to be with our Heavenly Father.

He was no longer suffering and feeling pain, but now I was.

Everything changed - some in radical way and others were just minor.

I was broken and in more ways than one,

but with

time to heal,

love from family and friends,

and the dedication of God to show me His will

I have become a delightful creation, a captivating work of art.

Sure, there are times where I still feel "broken" and hopelessly crushed.

I know just as super glue or duck tape can't always fix things,

I will never be exactly what I used to be.

I also know that God has turned my brokenness into an exquisite creation 

and that I am exactly what He planned me to be.

 

 

 

 

Dedicated to Daryl D. Reichard 1965-2010

A Note to Janee

     At first there was no words. There was no words to explain how I felt, what I was thinking, or if it was really sinking in. Now the words will not stop. 

      I can go on and on about the pain I feel from the losing a dear friend, but this is not about me, this is my note Janee. You were an inspiration to me, always including me even though I was just the tagalong little kid. I haven't seen you in several years, but the memories of the time we did spend together made up for it. Your smile was a reflection of you - always loving and a one of a kind. If I could take back time, I would just so I could tell you all this and how much you are loved. I know the event that happened resulted in losing you, but God sure did gain a great girl in heaven. 

     So as words continue to stir, I will end with just that - the Word. 

For in the beginning was the Word (John 1:1) and now the Word is the perfect ending. 

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

P-R-A-Y

PRAY

Pray for Pastors. Be it your own Pastor, Pastors in the community, & Pastors serving around the world as missionaries. 

Pray for our Religion. Pray for other in the Christian faith & for others who follow a different Religion to be brought to Christ and see the truth. 

Pray for those in Authority. Pray for the ones in Authority of your school, the Authority of our Nation, the Authority of our churches, & the Authority of our communities. 

Pray for Yourself to be involved in reaching out. Pray You will be able to in Your community, Your campus, Your church, & Your nation. 

JUST PRAY!!!