Facing Reality

Today, I am taking a personal day.

     During my time at college,  I have never skipped a class for any reason unrelated to swimming. I am a 4.0 student and know that attending class is very important for ones grades. Maybe it was because my 8 A.M. was cancelled and therefore felt as if it meant Monday was cancelled (oh how I wish that we could cancel Mondays sometimes) or the fact that I cried myself to sleep or that today I just did not want to face reality.

     I am normally strong. I accept that part of life is dying, heck without it we could not live and it is simply reality. Today, I do not wish to face reality because sometime reality is unbearable. Reality is the fact that five years ago to this date my father passed away. Reality is that sometimes I have a hard time remembering my father's voice and wish I could simply call him to hear his voice one more time. Reality is that I long to be wrapped up in one of his hugs and although others offer hugs sometimes all I want is just one of his. Reality is that I have to be strong, even when I think it isn't fair or when people try to understand but never could or when I just want to lose it.

     Today I decided I would let myself lose it. I am letting myself wallowing in self-pity. Tears have come and gone; who knows if they make a person feel better, I needed to let it all out.

     For tomorrow I am willing to face reality. I am willing to continue continuing, if that makes any sense, but I will strive for more. I will strive for a genuine happiness - a type of happiness that brings joy to others. I will strive for experience so that I may continue to live and gain wisdom while living life ti the fullest. I will strive to be an inspiration to all those around me just as my dad was an inspiration to me. I am willing and I will be prepared because . . .

Today, I took a personal day.